May 26th 2023

Seven years ago today I was sleeping In a hospital bed waiting for induction.There is a kind of calm that I have when I am in scary situations.I don't know if it's a firstborn syndrome or it's behavioral, either way it's very different from what most patients exhibit.The circumstances around that season were complicated,one thing was for sure though,despite all of it I was ready.So I went to hospital for a check up.Figured since I was home I needed my records to be in the hospital before labor day came.Me and my mum walk in to this hospital where I was born with all I needed, my clinic card.We move from one door to another, typical hospital stuff and before we know it am lying in bed waiting for a hospital gown.I didn't carry anything for the baby ,but like I said I was really calm.Looking back I realize my mum might have done all the panicking for me ,she really was scared. Can't blame her though ,I was twenty two, still in school and fifty four kilos.In retrospect she really did handle it well.Twenty sixth of May 2016,I finally get induced at nine am in the morning.By twelve noon I was sleepy like I had never been the whole pregnancy.I have never seen anyone sleepy during labor and I have been in the ward more times than I can count.My gynecologist told me I should sleep because I might never get a good night's sleep for the next eighteen years.Boy wasn't she right.Three pm I get another drug,this time I can't keep my eyes open,so my Uncle who is an anesthesiologist asks me if am sure I was given the right medication. I was sure ,I had given that drug to many  patients so I knew what it was like.Six pm and am put on a monitor.There is nothing like being in labor without moving.The next few hours were chaotic,I vomited more than I thought was humanly possible.Women my grandmother's age pittied me ,they thought I miscarried or aborted for that matter.Oh don't give me that look I know what judgemental looks look like.See I was really tiny for a person in labor and it didn't help that I had shaved my hair.So they kept stealing glances at me and offering me tea.At 11.00 I could feel the pain way beyond anything I can describe,I remember walking towards the nurse and he told me to go back.I just told him it was time,he asked how I knew that?Surprised as he was he decided to check and 11:40 pm baby girl was screaming her lungs out.One thing was for sure though,she came in to this world a happy little girl.Once she made her entrance cry she went quite and slept through her first night. We've had our ups and downs,but one thing is for sure you will never be too big for my arms.I love you Isabelle,for everyday that o get to be your mother I am grateful and I hope you know that no matter what happens i will always show up for you.Happy 7 birthday my love.